Landis is ramping up for a strong season… now let’s see what happens in three months…

…hey Muadib, I looked just like this doing that Alpe de GG, ey?

http://www.velonews.com/race/dom/articles/7907.0.html

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No longer must we cyclists avert our eyes in shame as that robin’s egg blue Lexus pulls up at the corner of Valencia and 22nd. It’s time to go RIM FOR RIM, BABY! Get your “Spinnaz” here–and be sure to check out the video.

Unfortunately, no word yet as to size availability for wrongrobot’s Bianchi.

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At least George will have easy access to dried ‘lope from Lance’s jersey pockets…

Having long ago exhausted the supply of interesting, realistic concepts to “spice up” the Tour, organizers for this year’s race are considering the idea of having the time time trial take place on TANDEM BIKES!!

To add even more lunacy to the mix, these buffoons have already stated they won’t consider adding to or subtracting from the traditional 9-rider team, which a few seconds of basic arithmetic will tell you means they want to throw a THREE-MAN BIKE into the mix (if such a thing even exists)!

RANT! This entire concept sounds like something wrongrobot and I came up with while waiting for our “tandem” roasted chicken omelets at Home Plate after too many miles in the saddle. The team time trial (in it’s intended form) is one of the most awesome sporting spectacles–a constantly revolving slipstream of riders cranking 30+ mph with literally only inches separating their tires. An ill-timed flat, a patch of wet pavement, or a slight tire rub and it’s all over.

I wish the fokken’ organizers would just call this what is really is, another pathetic attempt at handicapping Lance Armstrong. First it was the reintroduction of the team time trial after his first Tour victory in an effort to highlight the supposed weakness of the Postal team surrounding him–which backfired horribly when the Postal team began to dominate the event. Next it was the “uphill time trial” to give an advantage to the Tour’s “pure climbers”–an event Lance has absolutely owned over the past few Tours. Last year’s ploy–limiting the amount of time any individual rider could lose in the team time trial event –was designed to diminish Postal’s dominance and was, at least until now, the most arse-backwards addition in Tour history.

If the Tour’s organizers really want to monkeywrench Lance’s last Tour effort, here’s a few “out of the box” ideas:

–outfit Lance’s bike with Postal blue handlebar tassles (to increase wind resistance) and a basket filled with freshly baked baguettes which he must hand deliver to the children of any villages on the Tour’s route.

–require Lance to have Sheryl Crow as his personal bike mechanic.

–banish the Postal team’s chef and promote a cook who only prepares Scottish cuisine.

The only thing remotely interesting about this tandem team trial idea would be watching each team’s respective frame builder’s anxiety filled push to fabricate race-ready bikes–that and of course the final rider pairings…

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