My wifebot(tm) sent me this. Baffling!~ Amazing!~

http://aistigave.hit.bg/Logistics/

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I made WR promise he’d not say anything about this, but now I take it back, and I’m here to lay bare my stupidity and embarrasment.

Monday, I was leaving the parking garage at work on my bike. It was after hours, so the gate was closed. As luck would have it though, a car was exiting before me, so I hauled ass at the open gate, hoping to capitalize on it, rather than walking my bike through the door to the right.

OK, anyway, so I’m mashing at the door and it’s starting to come down, and I’m starting to realize now I’m not going to make it. So I get the brilliant idea to leap from my bike while in motion, intending to land running beside it, and duck through, pulling my bike beside me.

Everything would’ve gone off without a hitch, too, if it weren’t for the fact that the cuff of my pantleg caught on something as I leapt away, tangling me up in the bike and sending me careening down onto my face and shoulder on the corner of the curb.

OUCH.

Nothing broken, but lots sore. The first thing I noticed was that I could taste blood, and when I spit, it was a lovely, deep, viscous red. Fuck. And here I’d just been to the dentist that morning. As luck would have it, I’d simply cut the inside of my cheek on my teeth when my face met with the cold, hard concrete. My knee was a little bashed up, too, but my main concern was my shoulder. It hurt me in that way that happens when you have a broken bone, where you know something’s gone pear-shaped, but your adrenaline is pumping so hard that you can’t properly assess the damage. Well, I figured if I had indeed broken anything in my shoulder, I had about 15 minutes before I was gonna be immobile from the pain. My home is 12 minutes away on a good mash. So I jammed as fast as possible, thinking if I got there and was broken, at least my bike was there and I could have hotWife(tm) drive me to the hospital.

As it turned out, I was just bashed up.

Oh, and as for that closing garage gate? As I lay there on the ground looking up at it, it began to rise again. That’s right. It had a sensor on it for just such a situation.

What a dummy.

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