FATCYCLIST is a blog i check out every once in a while, if only because i want to support the guy — his wife is very sick with cancer, and he’s been able to find solace in cycling (which was a hobby beforehand), and his daughters and friends, "including the hundreds of friends (he’s) made on (his) blog, but (has) never met in person."

i also like the guy because he seems to have a GREAT sense of humour, and THIS REVIEW is an example i’ve been wanting to post for a while.

the review is for a product called "dznuts," which is a play on the inventor’s name (dave zabriskie), and the location of the product’s application. i’m not the target market myself, being somehow apparently immune to grundle suffrage, but the review is not to be missed. if you don’t read the whole thing at the link above, at least soak this up…

"My very favorite thing on either the box or the tube — which is good, because it’s on both the box and the tube, leading me to think they ran out of ideas for what to put on this box and tube — is the instructions.

1. Drop your shorts to your ankles, or remove completely from body.
Does anyone else’s ‘Fight or Flight’ reflex kick in when a man with a pornstar mustache and a tube of lubricant instruct you to drop your shorts to your ankles (or, worse, remove them altogether)? Because I’m panicking here."

…and it only gets better from there…

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Sure, it’s just some Lance Brand jersey in this image, not his next team jersey (assumed to be Astana) but I respond well to giant effing stars on the deltoids. That’s awesome.
Wrongrobot-approved, as well…

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But damn, but if he didn’t try for it…

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From Pearl Izumi’s ‘congratulations’ mailer about Chipotle Team’s recent wins…

AWESOME.
New lower, lower, lower back/ tramp stamp tattoo!

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hey, sweet! we just got our first bike traffic signal, at the deadly intersection of fell and masonic.

this is a long-awaited safety improvement at that intersection and hopefully marks a change in sf’s long-stalled bicycle safety improvements, which were frozen in june 06, when a court injunction required that an environmental impact report of the city’s bike plan be completed. however, it appears that a pedestrian impact report trumps an environmental impact report, as the superior court of sf lifted this injunction for this particular improvement.

"Pedestrians and bicyclists will receive a green walk and green bicycle signal when it is their turn to cross, and then a separate green arrow will indicate when vehicles can turn left. These phases ensure that bicycles and pedestrians will not cross paths with left-turning cars."

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granted, THIS looks like you’d break it just by speaking it’s name, but the concept is sound.

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Here is a link ro a collection of pics from the season ending race in Prospect Park, Brooklyn. It was a handicap race, with my team (Kissena) being given a 4 min head start, and teh pack trying to chase them down over 17 laps at 3.4 mile/lap.

http://picasaweb.google.com/f45tbike/09 … spectPark#

A ton of planning went into the practice and exucution of the double paceline, as the team had been "caught" the last 2 years.

Only the top 20 club riders were chosen to ride.
(below is the race desacription)

Cadence Catch Kissena Road Race
September 20, 2008
Brooklyn NY

Kissena/Category 1-2-3 Handicap
44 miles
76 starters

1. Eric Ragot (Kissena)
2. J.P. Partland (Kissena)
3. Rufus Pichler (Kissena)
4. Eric Robertson (Kissena)
5. Joseph Wiener (Kissena)
6. Joaquin de Baca (Kissena)
7. Gui Weinmann (Kissena)
8. Eloy Anzola (Kissena)
9. Lenny Katz (Kissena)
10. Ian Landau (Kissena)

Race Report: The Cadence Catch Kissena Road Race was started three years ago as a way to breathe life into the Kissena Club Championships. Run as a handicap race, the Kissena riders start first and are chased by the Pro/1-2-3 field. In the inaugural Catch Kissena Race, the Kissena riders were given a 3 minute head start and were caught. The following year, the Kissena riders were given a 4 minute head start and were also caught. This year the gap was kept at 4 minutes with the hope that several strong additions to the Kissena team would help the riders keep the chasing 1-2-3′s at bay. 23 very determined Kissena riders took to the line to hold off the chasing 53 rider 1-2-3 field. On the first lap, the 1-2-3 riders gained almost 30 seconds and it looked like the Kissena riders would once again be caught before the end. What nobody knew was that Kissena had a conservative plan to ride a steady tempo and they were not phased by the early losses. The field was led by Team WS United who were doing almost all the work. But with little help from other teams, they became frustrated. Meanwhile, the well-oiled Kissena machine pressed on lap after lap limiting their losses to a gap of 3:15 – only 45 seconds lost. Sensing the gap might never come down, the 1-2-3 field split, once again led by WS United but this time with help from CRCA/Axis and the lone CRCA/Merill Lynch rider Pascal Sauvayre. Inside the final 5 laps, the chasing group lost its’ cohesion as the impressive double paceline Kissena group (now down to about 14 riders) rolled along and actually started gaining time back as the lead hovered around 3:30. With the 2 laps to go, the officials pulled what was left of the 1-2-3 field who were about to get lapped by the Kissena group. As the Kissena riders entered the final lap, the lead was secure and attention now turned to who would take the win and title of Club Champion. As the Kissena riders approached the 200 meter mark, it occurred to the spectators there would be no sprint at all. The Kissena riders won this race as a team and decided to cross the line as a team as well. It was a great display of club loyalty as the riders congratulated themselves for beating the odds. Long time Kissena club member and former president, Eric Ragot, officially crossed the line first and was named Club Champion. The Kissena riders collected the entire $455 prize list and in another display of club loyalty voted for the prize list to go back into the club treasury. Kissena Cycling Club founder Al Toefield would have been proud.

Category 5
17 miles
31 starters

1. Victor Lopez (CRCA/El Puente)
2. Daniel Perez (Chelsea Bicycles)
3. Sebastion Bland (Unatt)
4. Max Jiminez (Brooklyn Arches)
5. Chris Leong Unatt)

Thanks to all the marshals, pacers, officials and Cadence Cycling for supporting our races.

Charlie Issendorf
Race Director
Kissena Cycling Club

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http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-89720

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in montana a couple weeks ago, schoolteacher jim litz, who regularly commutes by bicycle through bear territory (mistake number 1), t-boned a 300-pound black bear at speed.

broken helmet, bruised ribs, and some "scratches" on his back from the tumble they took together.

LUCKY FUCK.

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i’ve been seeing a LOT of new cyclists out there on the streets these days. some are becoming more health-conscious. some are sticking it to the man by not buying foreign oil. some are doing their part to try and lessen our environmental impact. some are just masochists and like it. but no matter the reason, i’m EXTREMELY pleased to see so many new riders out there.

with one exception.

maybe i missed the memo, but apparently the morning bicycle commute is a race if you’re new to cycling. perhaps that’s WHY i missed the memo, cause i’ve been doing it for a while. i don’t know, but it’s all i can do to get through a commute without somebody trying to nab the maillot jeune (seen above).

don’t get my sarcasm wrong, i mean i get it. you get on a bike and you feel free and you want to go fast. and EVERYONE thinks they’re the time trial master, even on their sears mountainbike. noted. but there’s an art to going fast, especially in urban environments. it’s an art i don’t even have HALF mastered and i ride the city every day, all over. so watching these newbie racer tactics has been giving me some recent joys.

: : :

01 . too low of a gear
i’ll be riding along at a moderate pace — not slow, but not mashing — and slooowly (on the RIGHT, no less), someone will start creeping past me, spinning their legs like the roadrunner, sucking wind, pouring sweat, erratically bouncing into and out of the runoff gutters… it’s acutally safer in this instance for me to accelerate since they won’t be able to keep up that pace for very long, but the whole time i’m thinking, "dude. i’ve only got one gear here. if you really wanna ‘beat’ me, just upshift past my gear and i won’t be able to keep up. i promise. or just shift AT ALL. also, i’m not racing you."

02. slamStop
over the course of a block or two, i end up out in front of these people, which of course means i’m "racing" them, so as i slow down on approach to a redlight and start watching the cross traffic’s light, someone will inevitably blast past me and jam on their new disc brakes so hard they almost go ass over headset into the opposing traffic. as they try and catch their breath and pry their junk out of their stem, the light turns green and i roll on through. halfway down the block, see point 01.

03. creeping off a green
since i have a cruising gear and a super light bike, my first pedalstroke always sends me off the light immediately at speed. conversely, and relative to point 01, the gaggle of overzealous grip-shifters who’re jockeying for the pole position at the light can’t get up to speed because they were already in too low of a gear and didn’t upshift on approach in preparation for takeoff. so i take one pedalstroke and fire out to the front. uh-oh. now i’m "racing." see point 01.

04 . bottlenecking around stopped traffic
this one’s actually kinda dangerous. on approach to a red light that has some cars at it, there’s not much room to squeak beside the cars to get to the crosswalk. especially between a bus island and the sidewalk. sometimes i even have to wait BEHIND a vehicle if it’s too wide, like a delivery truck. but remember, i’m "racing." so inevitably, as i start to maneuver to squeeze along whatever side’s got the wider opening, three other people will BLAST up from behind (i’m usually slowing at this point, since the light is red) and all try and wedge themselves through first. cause remember, you have to get to the light FASTEST. see point 02.

and what’s the funniest about all this? because i also have mad, displayable city riding skillz, i STILL end up ahead of this peloton of riders with pricetags still on their helmets. i can only imagine the frustration that they’ve "lost" the "race."

: : :

i certainly don’t want to give the impression that i’m out there judging everyone, because i’m not. i’m beside myself with joy that there’s so many people trying the bike commute. it’s good for your health, it’s good for the country, and it’s good for the planet. but seriously, you don’t have to be george hincapie out there. just get there at your own pace! and if someone passes you SOLELY because they ride the streets every single day and know every crack, crackhead, and redlight countdown like the backs of their grips, please don’t feel like it’s a personal challenge. it’s not. I AM NOT RACING YOU. my pace just happens to be faster than yours. and guess what? there’s a lot of people out there whose paces are faster than mine! just settle the fuck down and have fun.

or don’t. cause i’m having a TON of fun watching you wear yourself out over the course of 300 feet.

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