ok, THIS is the most overwrought piece of garmentry i’ve ever seen in my life. and that comes from a guy who used to be married to someone who wore a skirt over top of pants. so i know what i’m sayin here.

the osloh is another urban cycling pant, a "commuter pant," if you will, and it actually starts off sounding pretty good…

> 12 oz. premium stretch denim 98% cotton, 2% spandex
> coated with water repellant resin and anti-bacterial finish
> low front waistband
> higher back waistband
> relaxed fit through the hip and thighs

but those things are pretty common in urban cycling pants, especially cycling knickers. so how to differentiate these from the rest of the pack?

MAKE THEM FAIL.

first of all, the leg cuff…

ok, great, so it has some velcro straps to peg your chainSide pantleg so it doesn’t get ate or greazy. great. that’s actually very useful. except for where this method restricts the flexure of your calf muscles, keeps you WAY too warm, and the lower strap is still too high to keep your pantleg from entering the sprocket! and don’t forget that when it’s NOT activateds, you have two fucking velcro straps just hanging off the side of your leg with no use.

but you know what, that might actually be kind of helpful to some people, so let’s move on to the lock holster. why in heaven’s fucking name would you make a lock holster which you have to unlock your lock to use?

i mean, really? i suppose if you’re pulling your lock out or putting it back, it’s going to be open anyway, but really? you have to find the loops, insert your lock through them, AND THEN LOCK IT BEHIND YOUR BACK. did they do this so that the pocket under it was still accessible? yeah? oh, great, then HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ACCESS IT WITH A FUCKING LOCK IN FRONT OF IT?

worst.
pant.
EVER.

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