as a cyclist and mechanic with OCD-like tendencies, it’s a constant struggle to try and bring a toolKit on a ride. the cyclist in me wants to bring nothing but the bare essentials. the mechanice and OCD dork in me wants to be able to field-strip a bicycle to the bolts. but instead of let it get to me, i always try and let it drive me to combine the two and make the "bare essential field-strip kit."

i believe i’ve done so. we begin with the end — this is the pouch i wear on a belt when i ride. as you can see by the demarcations on my selfHealing mat, at capacity it is approximately 8" wide by 5" and some change tall. it is also about an inch deep and weighs 33 pounds, hahaha!!!

but despite the fact that just about every cyclist of every vein out there would be MORTIFIED at the weight and bulk i willingly CHOOSE to carry, i know that every goddamn one of em is gonna be lookin for me when they have a catastrophic mechanical failure on the road.

to wit…

1- two pedro’s tyre irons
2 – phil’s
3 – tube
4 – bottom bracket tool
5 – dual (square taper and octalink) crank arm puller
6 – extra key to my lock
7 – chain breaker
8 – two extra valve caps (i don’t know why, either)
9 – a few extra chain links, a master pin, and the instructions on how to use em, cause i’ve never used this particular chain before (the instructions will become superfluous at some point)
10 – 32/15 wrench
11 – pedro’s trixie, with chainWhip attachment
12 – patch kit
13 – 8mm allen
14 – tyre boot
15 – camelbak elixir electrolyte supplement tablet
16 – CO2 charger
17 – two 16g CO2 cannisters
18 – my keychain — not inside the pouch, but contains a multi-tool and the chari & co "bullet," which is a presta-to-shrader valve adapter.
19 – an old blk mrkt seat bag, in which i put lots of the tiny or infrequently-used bits of the kit (yes, there’s a bag inside the bag, shut up)

there are a few very important details to remember when you’re evaluating this kit. one, the 32/15 wrench. the 15 side is a pedal wrench, and the 32 side is (quite coincidentally) the size of the BB tool. the 32 is technically made for the top race on a 1" threaded HS, though, so if you run that (i don’t) this aids in that maintenance, too. two, the crankPuller. that little guy has no handle — instead, you have to use an adjustable or, wait for it, a 15mm. in this instance, i use the trixie’s 15mm end. and let’s talk about the trixie, too. with a masterLink, i added a long section of chain on there, so now it’s a 15, a lockring wrench, AND a chainwhip. SOLID. i carry a tube and patches because i figure i can go much, MUCH further that way. blow a tube, miss the thorn that’s through your sidewall, throw in a new tube and you’re fucked in another mile. but by using patches first, you have a few chances to make it through unexpected bullshit.

i’ve used everything in this kit for it’s intended purposes over the last week or so, and thus far, i have no problem saying that it is QUITE majestic. it would need some slight adjustments for different bikes, of course — anything with a threaded headset would have different requirements, as would a bike with a cassette or a different BB than i use or whatever. but the thing is, this kit could start as the core and be modified VERY easily for other bikes.

i defy anyone … ANYONE … to make a better, more complete, more OPTIMAL ride toolKit. in fact, if you CAN, i’ll buy you a bottle of the best tequila on the market.

bring.
IT.

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