yesterday, i took a ride with friend of TLTC r-e-L, who WR and i met on the lifeCycle back in june. r-e-L had planned the route, which was 50 miles through the berkeley hills. i was on one of my fixed-gears — the one i rode to LA. the route amounted to several thousand feet of climbing, with grades that approached 20%. some of the roads we were on had awful names like grizzly peak and wildcat canyon, and we did at least part of something called "the three bears." just the fucking sound of it is intimidating. we circled the reservoir and went by a couple parks as well. in the end, we spent well over half of our day climbing, and the heat was up in the 90s.

i’d prepared for the ride by resting and eating an entire pot of pasta the day before, doing a lot of stretching, having some muscle milk, and loading my bike up with dual waterbottles of powerade/water. unfortunately, we didn’t start the ride till 2PM, so despite what i’d done before, i went into the day with only a bagel in me that i’d had HOURS prior. NOT SMART. and i was doing this fixed.

the day started out pretty well, with lots of slow climbing and gorgeous views and general good times. we rode at a good pace and climbed and climbed and climbed. every ride i’ve ever taken in the berkeley hills is just climbing. it’s like the old stories your grandfather tells of having to walk to school uphill both ways. i don’t know how it’s possible. EVERYTHING is uphill. it’s fucked. but it’s not so bad and we talked and talked and had a good time.

about halfway through the day, the heat was really starting to get heavy. about this time, we found ourselves on a climb that i’d never felt the likes of before. the grade had to be near 20%, as my cross street in the city is 18%, and this was steeper. so steep in fact, that it beat me. i made it MOST of the way up and then completely shut down. i could feel myself going into dehydration and overexertion (tingly scalp, maxed-out heartrate, dizzy vision), but because i’m a stubborn idiot, i kept going. for like another 6 feet. hahaha!!! i pulled over under the shade and quickly stripped off my helmet, hat, and armwarmers (i have to — i’m too fair-skinned), and i unzipped my jersey. then i drank a TON of my liquid and popped a couple shotblocks and had half a bonkbreaker bar. r-e-L had come up on me somewhere in this process and i tole her to keep going, which she did. after i’d regained most of my strength (a few MINUTES), i climbed back on my bike and tried to go further. nope. made it about another 100 feet and it was just too steep and too hot. i had to give up. i walked up to where r-e-L was waiting and said "sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes the bear eats you." she was so apologetic — "i’m so sorry, i didn’t remember this being so steep and i know you’re fixed and i just feel really bad." i said, "this is all me. the last thing i had to eat was a bagel at 9AM and the last time i rode distance was ALC. i knew i wasn’t prepared for 50 through the berkeley hills on a blazing hot day on a fixed gear and i pushed it anyway."

after we were both rested up a bit, maybe a few more minutes, we got moving. i decided to try and ride the rest of the way up now, because it wasn’t that far, so i climbed on and grabbed my drops and clipped in and stood up and took one pedalstroke and CREAAAK! my whole cockpit collapsed. i have no fucking idea how this happened, but somehow the faceplate bolts on my stem came loose over the last week. my bars spun down inside the stem. WIERD. so we pulled over AGAIN and i fixed it and then we were finally out. i was coming around from my bonkout finally, and that’s when the right calf cramp started threatening. that lasted the rest of the day, which was awesome. more climbing and more climbing and MORE climbing.

we were now 3/4 of the way through 50 miles and i was pretty well out of liquid. that’s when i got the flat. rear tyre, who knows why it happened (there was nothing in the tyre), just one of those things. i thought about patching it, but i had a tube and a patch kit, so decision made — tube. more climbing and more climbing and descents with hairpin switchbacks and just a nightmarish back-and-forth of blazing sun and frigid shade. my body was taking a beating that i hadn’t experienced maybe ever. and now i was officially out of hydration. we kept hoping for a gas station or something, but we found jack. this is ghetto as fuck, but i did find a half-bottle of crystal geyser on the side of the road — lid intact and apparently ok. i poured it into one of my bottles. r-e-L and i were also sharing her last bottle at this point and she was running low. we were really on the dregs. and BOOM, heaven! a park with a water fountain. oh man, so stoked.

i parked my bike with the pedal-on-the-curb trick and went over and drank a TON of water, and then filled up both of my bottles. that was when my bike fell over on the cement on it’s new matte black cinelli drops. awesome. a pretty bad scratch the length of the lower, horizontal part of the left drop. the upside is that i was riding the bars with no tape on them, and i’ve been intending to get some soon, so it’ll eventually be covered. meaning no harm, no foul.

after that, the day was a cake-walk. we got back to her apartment, showered up, she made a fucking BOMB roasted chicken and some kale and roasted potatoes and we noshed on pita and hummus and carrots and snap peas — very kick-ass post-ride mealery.

unfortunately, BART stops running at a certain time, so i caught an 1130 train back to the city and CRASHED. OUT. i was fucking exhausted, had nearly had a goddamn heat stroke out there, and it was past midnight now, so i was feeling it.

today i woke up feeling tired, but not sore. that’s a GREAT sign. if i look back honestly on the day, the reality is that i almost bonked on one hill that was the steepest i’ve ever ridden fixed. that’s really all that happened. everything else was fine, and in fact, super fun.

i do recommend not trying this ride fixed, though, unless you run a high-60s inch gear. i run a low 70s and that hill beat me. granted, if i’d been properly nourished and it hadn’t been as hot as the face of the fucking sun out there, it may have been different, but that’s the way it is.

until the next time…

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